


When I Return, What Will You Say to Me?

by Fannishproblemsandotherthings



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Attempted Murder, College, Crying, Depression, Kidnapping, Multi, Presumed Dead, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-10-26 17:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fannishproblemsandotherthings/pseuds/Fannishproblemsandotherthings
Summary: Peggy Schuyler has been missing for a year. Her friends assume she is dead-after all, she must be. But what if she's not-what if she's still alive? And what if she had been under their noses this whole time, trying to ask for help? And what if, on the one year anniversary of her disappearance, she finally made her way back home?





	1. Remembering (Alexander)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, um, hi. Lol, sorry, this is my first fic, soooo......forgive me for my terrible story lines and cringe worthy text. I have a tendency to give cliffhangers and also have writer's block, so if you for some strange reason enjoy reading this junk, then please forgive me if I don't update on a schedule... :') Also, I'm terrible at coming up with titles for ANYTHING. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this short fic!
> 
> Oh and also, I don't plan on having anything super inappropriate in here, because I try to keep that out of my public work...however there will be ships and shipping moments :3 (even though they will have super cringy writing because I can't write fluff)

In a red brick dorm building off of a college campus, Alexander Hamilton was writing. He was always writing, but today he was writing something special. A letter. A letter to a presumably deceased friend, of course. Peggy Schuyler had been missing for exactly one year, as of tomorrow. (However, as Alexander thought this, he looked at his clock and realized it was five minutes past midnight.) Scratch that-Peggy Schuyler had been missing for one year, and Alexander and all of his friends felt her absence grow heavier every day. However, none took this burden harder than her sisters, Angelica and Eliza, and her boyfriend, Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette (or Lafayette, as his friends called him). Thinking back to that day, Alexander felt tears rise in his eyes. He remembered it as clear as crystal, even after twelve months.

~One Year Ago~

Peggy was exiting her dorm building. She and her sisters were going to the college library, and as they began the five minute walk, Eliza noticed something strange. "Look, a van," she pointed out. "It's probably a delivery van," Angelica replied. "I heard the library was low on textbooks." But Eliza frowned. "No, there's no company logo on it." "Well, I don't think it's anything we should be worried about," Angelica said. "I hope not," Eliza muttered under her breath. Ever since she had gotten sucked into creepy online spam stories, Eliza had been slightly paranoid. "You need to stop reading stories for your screen, Liza," Peggy said lightly. "They'll give you nightmares." Eliza sighed, but noticed something out of the corner of her vision as they neared the van. "Look-" she began, but Peggy cut her off. "Eliza, please," she said, but Eliza continued. "No, look! There are these guys getting out of the van-they all look pretty big. I wonder what they're here for." "Honestly, Eliza, it's probably the football team or something!" Angelica sighed. But Eliza said, "No, they all have these hoods on-I can't see their faces. But they look older-like, definitely not college age."

Peggy frowned. "Well, we can walk faster if you want," she offered. "Yeah, lets," came the response, so they quickened their pace. But then they heard a shout from behind them that made their blood run cold. "Hey, you!" Somebody yelled. It was a gruff male voice that sounded like he spent a lot of time yelling. "Wait!" The three girls walked even faster, their strides lengthening. "Stop!" he called. Then the girls heard him bark at two other men, and then heard the pattering of shoes behind them. "Stop!" The girls glanced back, petrified, to see two of the huge guys bearing down on them. They panicked and ran, and the guys continued to chase them. "Stop! Get them!" The first man yelled, and rushed with adrenaline, the girls sprinted down the sidewalk as fast as they could, screaming. They had only run for about ten seconds, while it seemed like forever, and the goons were catching up to them. But just when it seemed they might get away, Peggy tripped over a root in the sidewalk and one of the men grabbed her. She screamed loudly, and Angelica and Eliza turned back just in time to see them push her unconscious form into the back of their van and jump in, driving away. Angelica and Eliza screamed even louder at that, and Eliza turned pale and collapsed on the ground while Angelica was panicked to the verge of tears. She called the police and then called her friends, who came rushing over from their dorms in under a minute to find Eliza unconscious, Angelica sobbing and desperate, and Peggy missing.

~Present Day~

Alexander sighed. He could still remember perfectly Eliza's desperate cries once she had woken up, and the way she and Angelica had sobbed on each other's shoulders for days. They had all been horrified, but he could also remember Lafayette's expression once he had realized Peggy was gone. He turned pale, and sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands. Later that day he had gone in his dorm room and not come out for two days. When he did, he was determined to search the entire state of New York for clues about Peggy, and for six months, he did. But after seven months, even he had become discouraged. When the police returned two months later without a single shred of evidence either, everyone had lapsed into a quiet state of despair, and two weeks later, they had all quietly agreed that Peggy was most likely dead or never to be found. They got her a gravestone made out of marble, and mourned. And today, Alexander thought, returning to the present, today they would all join together at her grave site and mourn, like they had vowed to do every year. He looked down at his paper to find it riddled with teardrops, and took a shuddering breath. I need to stay stronger this time, he thought. I can cry, but I need to be a little bit stronger-especially for Laf, and for Angelica, and for Eliza. He sighed again, and looked down at his paper. This was one of many letters he had written to Peggy since she had disappeared, which he kept in a tiny box in his desk. He hadn't loved her or anything-his heart belonged to one person, and one person only-but she had known him for seven years, and had practically been like his sister. He missed her bubbly optimism, her warm presence, and her ability to make a whole room smile. He may move on in life from people he had known and friendships he had made, but Peggy Schuyler would never be forgotten by him.


	2. Trying (Thomas)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeffmads. All-around-depression. Um, Thomas likes In The Heights...?? Enjoy this chapter-of-fluff (if you can enjoy cringy writing).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...within an hour i got two comments O.O that really surprised me  
> But yay!! I had people asking for chapter #2...so here you go! (prepare for cringeworty writing.)  
> Also...JEFFMADS!!!
> 
> (also...I feel like I made some grammar mistakes that I missed in here, so if you see anything, please tell me :'D)  
> And as I said before...I CAN'T NAME ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!! (especially chapter titles...)

Thomas Jefferson was in his dorm room when he heard a knock on his door. Quickly clearing his throat (he had been silently crying earlier), he slid off of his bed and went to answer it. He wasn't particularly surprised to see James Madison, his best friend (and boyfriend as of almost two years), standing there.   
However, he was surprised when James sniffed, looked up at him with tears in his eyes, and hugged him so hard he felt like his ribs were going to crack.  
"Jemmy?" he asked uncertainly, and when he heard him sniffling, trying to hold back tears (and a cold), he sighed and led James into his room, closing the door.

"I'm sorry," James said once his tears had subsided. "I probably wouldn't be this emotional, but-" "I know," Thomas replied. "You don't have to apologize. I know." The two sat there in silence on the edge of Thomas's bed until James broke the silence. "I mean, even today...I miss Peggy like everyone else, but I didn't know her that well..and...but..." He looked up at Thomas. "Everyone else is...I mean...I stopped at Burr's on the way here, and he and Theo were just...sitting together on his couch, crying. And Burr didn't even know Peggy that well....but then I left and went to see John, and he was crying too! I mean, he was obviously trying to hide it, but he knew Peggy really well." By then James was tearing up again. "And then I stopped at Angelica and Eliza's, and they were just...having a meltdown. Alex was with them too, and the three of them were just sobbing. Angelica and Eliza were sitting on Peggy's bed, holding all of the things she'd had, like photos, and books she'd read, and papers and homework she'd written, and Alex was trying to comfort them but just ended up crying too, and I could barely keep it together. I barely made it out before I started crying." Now James' voice was wavering. "And Laf...I knocked on his door five times before he answered, and his eyes were red and his face was just covered in tears. I tried to comfort him, but he just sat there, on his bed, mumbling about how she didn't deserve this, about how she was such a good, sweet, person and he just broke down in tears and I had to leave.

"I mean...everyone is just...it's horrible. And I don't know what to do, or where to go, so I came here, and I didn't mean to cry." He broke down in tears and leaned against Thomas. "Oh, Jemmy," Thomas whispered. "It's okay to cry. I know just what you mean. I tried to contact them, but I didn't know Peggy as well as they did, and there was nothing I could do..." Now Thomas felt his eyes getting wet. "It's okay to cry. We all miss her, and nothing we can do will change that." He ran his fingers through James' short hair, trying to calm himself as much as his boyfriend. "Breathe, Jemmy, breathe," he whispered, until James was breathing steadily again. "It's going to be rough today," Thomas said to himself and James. "It's going to be rough, but we can get through this, okay? We have each other, and we have our friends." James nodded. "God, I love you," he sighed. Thomas felt his face stretching into a weary smile. "Really? I couldn't tell." "Be quiet. I mean it. You're always there for me, and you deal with all my problems like it's no big deal. I can't believe how much you put up with me." Thomas looked at him, surprised. "Jemmy, I like being there for you. You're there for me, aren't you? I can always trust you with anything and you never complain when I bother you with all of my problems." James cuddled against Thomas, sighing. "Thomas....I love you." Thomas smiled again, and this time it felt less forced. "I love you too, Jemmy." And with that, he took James' face in his palms and pressed their lips together, kissing him. Even though he kissed him all the time, he felt like it never got old. And every time, he asked himself in his head, How in the world did I get so lucky? When they finally broke for air, Thomas hugged James. "Jemmy...I know you really don't like to listen to it, but..." James sighed. "Fine. Just this once, though." "Yay!" 

Thomas half-faked a smile as he grabbed his phone and turned on the In The Heights soundtrack. "I love you, Jemmy," he whispered, as he and James sat there together and cuddled as they listened to the songs play. James kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Thomas. More than anything in the world." Then he muttered, "Even if you do have terrible taste in music." Thomas snorted and kissed him on the cheek. "Shut up and listen to it, James. Let's try to relax while we can." Then he curled up against him, and let the music flow out of the speaker in his phone as he snuggled up against James and tried to forget that later today, he and James and the rest of their friends would gather at Peggy's grave and pray and cry and mourn her, like the promised they would do every year. But as Thomas began to drift off to sleep, he thought back to the day Peggy had gone missing. He and James hadn't cried, really...they had later, of course. But mainly they had just been in shock. Everyone had been in shock. You can't really prepare for that sort of thing, he thought. But even if I didn't know Peggy Schuyler that well..I know that she was an incredible person. She was smart, funny, kind, and incredibly optimistic, and had the power to make a room feel brighter with her smile. Peggy had almost been like their little sister in the year and a half or so that he'd grown to know her, and he knew that whatever happened in his life, he would never forget her, and how she had left an imprint on his and his friends' hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, sorry for the terrible attempt at writing fluff. I'm not a very good writer of romance, but I try... :')  
> Anyway, I feel like I didn't do Jeffmads justice. Also, I probably will just go around randomly changing characters' perspectives, so if you get, like, two Lafayette chapters in a row in the future or something, please don't get mad at me.   
> And most of these chapters will probably be short, if you're wondering...I really can't keep my train of thought going for long enough to write a really long chapter, so....yeah. :T AND ANOTHER THING...if you find out I've posted several chapters in one day or so, that's just me wanting to write stuff because I get a random idea at 11:00 at night, lol.


	3. Depression (Lafayette)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide. He needs serious help, and he knows it. But he can't give up on Peggy, because what if she's still alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay, get ready, because this chapter is kinda long. I kinda went on a rant inside Laf's head here because I lacked any actual plot ideas...X') So I apologize for basically repeating the same thing over and over again until finally ending it because my eyes were starting to blur. So, anyway..TRY TO ENJOY!! (You know, if you actually enjoy reading this pile of trash.)

Lafayette was crumpled over his bed, head in his hands.   
He didn't know how long he'd been like this. It could have been an hour or five minutes, but he didn't care. All that he knew was that his heart was broken, he was exhausted, and in an hour or two he would gather with his friends to cry even harder over Peggy's grave. He'd visited her grave site alone plenty of times, sometimes bringing new flowers, or tracing her name on the elegantly carved marble tombstone, or thinking about how she shouldn't have a grave. Graves were for people whose bodies were six feet underneath the ground. Graves were for people who were confirmed dead. Graves were for people who wouldn't come back, who couldn't come back, who were gone forever because somehow, in some way, the life had been drained from their bodies and left them forever. He couldn't associate any of these things with Peggy, because it was impossible to believe she was dead. He had watched his mother die, had watched the life slowly drain out of her as she became weaker and weaker. The last time he'd seen her, she was as frail as a broken bird. He knew she was gone. But the last time he'd seen Peggy, she had been full of life and energy, like always. She had kissed him on the cheek, grabbed her canteen full of coffee, and with her schoolbooks, left for her first morning class. He could never believe that Peggy could be that weak, that she had taken a final breath, and become still and cold like his mother. In his mind, she was not dead. She couldn't be. But in some way, he wished that he could believe that she was dead. He wished that he could believe everything everyone said and accept the fact that she was gone and never coming back. 

But in his mind, she was still alive. She was alive, and she was out there, and Lafayette still harbored a secret wish to keep looking for her, to keep searching, because if she was out there, if she was alive, he couldn't just give up on her like that. He couldn't stop trying. But he'd had to eventually, and it hurt him more every day that she wasn't there. Her absence in his life and his friends' lives' was slowly tearing him apart, ripping a bigger and bigger hole in him day by day. He needed her. He needed her eternal optimism. He needed her bubbly warmth. He needed her rambling rants about unfair homework assignments and her ten minute long book reviews and her love for him and her quiet kindness and her ability to always make a room smile with her presence and her always being there for him. Why? He screamed silently in his head. Why did this have to happen to her? She did nothing to deserve it. She was an incredible person-smart and funny and kind, and she had done nothing wrong. She was a good person. Why was she punished like this? 

He shuddered, digging his hands through his hair and closing his eyes. He could still remember that day perfectly, every single event from the second he woke up to the second he collapsed in the hospital, the doctors having given him five different kinds of drugs to help with stress and depression and insomnia and anxiety. He had scoured that day for clues for the entire year she'd been gone, from that day until now, trying to find a clue about where she might be, what could have foreshadowed what would happen to her, and why why why why why did this have to happen? God, he missed her. He didn't know what to do. Every day was a struggle. They had said it would slowly fade away, he would eventually be able to accept it. But he just couldn't-how could anyone ever accept anything like this happening to a loved one? But it just got worse. He missed her more and more, and he was never able to forget her. He never would, never could. And he knew that the only way to be able to move on would be to get proof, actual solid proof, that Peggy was dead or alive. If they got proof she was dead, he would commit suicide and find her in the afterlife. If she was alive, he would spend his entire life trying to find her. In fact, the only reason he hadn't committed suicide by now was because he couldn't believe that she was dead. He wanted to be alive if she was alive, so he could try to find her. He wanted to make sure that there was at least one person who hadn't give up on her, and never would.

He had attempted suicide once or twice before, when he had sunk deeply into depression, but he had caught himself before he could actually kill himself. Don't give up on Peggy, he would remind himself, and the last shred of his conscious mind would force him to pick up his phone and call one of his friends-usually Alex or John or Hercules-for help, and they would come barely a minute later to help him escape the darkness. He had also attempted self harm, taking a knife and slashing himself, or poking himself with a sharp object until he bled, or burned his hands until they started to blister. But he had never actually gone to the point of ending his life completely. He knew he needed serious help-his friends were there for him, and he could always take counseling, but in the end, it was only his thoughts that mattered to him, and if he was still trying to hang on for Peggy. But he still couldn't help thinking thoughts, thoughts that threatened to rip him apart and destroy him. He spent a lot of time trying to ignore the voices in his own head.

They won't miss you.   
But Peggy will.   
They have each other, they don't need you.  
But Peggy does.   
Nobody would care if you died.  
Yes they would. I don't matter.  
You matter to her.  
What if she's not out there anymore?  
Don't think that.  
But what if it's true?  
You can't think that.

It went on and on in circles, dominating his thoughts with depression each day. But in the end, no matter how weak the argument got, he would never give up on Peggy, and he knew it.

His train of thought, however, was disrupted by a text from Alexander reminding him that they were going to leave in thirty minutes to visit Peggy's grave site. Laf sighed, remembering that he and his friends would cry together again today, would mourn her, and then go home to cry privately. He breathed deeply, blinked his eyes, and stretched. Just hold on a little longer, he thought to himself. Then you can cry with them and you don't have to try to hide it. Standing up and massaging his aching muscles, he headed for his closet. Blinking back tears, he reminded himself to save them for later.   
Because if one thing was for sure in his life right now, he had cried a lot of tears by himself, and he was ready to share them with his friends.  
Later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back at this, I probably should have added some french in there, but god I was tired. It's a school night, sooo... DX  
> I will try to add french when he actually talks out loud later...and I'll also try to add some actual plot lmao   
> So...ya! I hope you enjoyed this incredibly repetitive chapter!


	4. Giving Up (Angelica)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, not sure what to say. Angelica and Eliza are about to commit a double-suicide when LAMS walks in on them....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure what to call this chapter. But word of warning, the POV is all over the place, so I apologize for that...>X')
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for how the narrative style keeps changing in this chapter. DX I tried but I just couldn't keep it all in one format

Angelica tried to slow her breathing. Closing her eyes, she imagined the feel of the blade's cool metal against her skin. Piercing the flesh of her neck and within seconds cutting through her carotid artery and ending her life in a flash. It would be over in seconds. A flash of metal, a flash of pain, but it would be worth it. The darkness would steal into her consciousness and her body would crumple to the ground and her spirit would leave the mortal world and enter into the realm of the deceased, wherever that was.   
Was this what it was like for you, she wondered miserably, when you died? What was it like? She couldn't help but be curious as she asked her youngest sister in her head what it was like to die. However, Peggy did not answer, as she was most likely already dead, somewhere halfway across the world. Angelica felt her body quake with a silent sob as she remembered that day. She had only caught a glimpse of the men loading Peggy's body into the back of their van, but a glimpse had been enough. She was unconscious, limp and still as they jostled her around, and with that glance, Angelica would never be able to forget that moment, or how lifeless Peggy had looked. Angelica wasn't quite sure if she had been dead at that moment, or was dead now, but she didn't know what to believe otherwise. She had felt too many emotions in her life-she had lost too many people. And she was done with all of it.

Eliza came into their dorm room's living room holding two long kitchen knives by the handles, offering one to Angelica. She took it, and began preparing herself. She and Eliza didn't say anything, just looked at each other in silent agreement. They couldn't take the pain anymore-so they had to end it. But as Angelica studied the weapon in her hand, she began to think.   
If you had asked her before, Angelica would have said suicide was a cowardly man's game. But now she could almost understand why people ended their lives themselves instead of waiting for death to retrieve them. If a person was in enough pain, mentally or emotionally or physically, there was a point at which it became unbearable, and the victim could lose the will to live. Angelica personally couldn't take all of the struggles life was throwing at her, and felt so emotionally broken inside that she wanted nothing more than to end the pain, to make it go away. But she couldn't leave Eliza, her sister, her friend, her life. She would always be there for her sister, even if it meant at the expense of her own relief and freedom. However at one point when she and Eliza had been crying together about how it was so hard and they wanted it to stop, Angelica had said she would do anything to make the pain go away. Eliza had looked at her with consideration as tears poured down her face, and she had asked if Angelica had meant to end her life herself. Angelica replied that she would only do so if Eliza wished to do so, and Eliza had almost gasped with relief when they had agreed to a double-suicide. It was difficult, and cowardly, yes, but wasn't it the right thing to do, if it meant ending their pain? 

"On three, alright?" Angelica and Eliza stared at each other quietly, nodding. Neither had anything really to say-they had already written a suicide note and signed it, and both had spent the past whole day praying and thinking of all their regrets and going over all they had enjoyed and hated in life and all the things they were going to say to Peggy when they saw her. But now they were ready, and they hugged one more time before clutching their respective knives and standing, about to turn around-

Angelica's phone buzzed.  
She swore under her breath. She had forgotten to tell Alexander to wait another few minutes before coming to pick them up, and now he and John were on their way up to their dorm room. She ignored it, and turned back to Eliza with a look on her face she hoped conveyed the need to hurry.   
Her phone buzzed again.   
Swearing out loud now, she lifted the knife and nodded again at Eliza, who returned the gesture. Both turned around, back to back.   
She could hear voices down the hall-they needed to hurry.  
She locked hands with Eliza.  
There were footsteps, getting closer. The voices were getting louder.  
She squeezed Eliza's hand, the signal to raise the knife.  
There was a knock on the door. "Angelica? Eliza?" came Alexander's muffled voice. "Are you in here?"  
She swore and sucked in a breath. "Hurry, she whispered to Eliza.   
"What?" Alexander called. "Are you there?"  
Pulse raising, Angelica prepared herself. She balanced the knife against her neck.  
"One second," came Laurens' voice to Alexander. A soft clinking of keys jangled as he searched for the right one.  
"Ready?" Angelica asked Eliza. "Ready," Eliza whispered back.  
The key fit in the lock. Time seemed to slow down.  
"One." She readied herself.  
"Two." She tried to ignore the doorknob turning.  
"Three!" She sucked in a final breath and was about to press the knife down, when the door swung open. Standing in it's place, with a horrified look on their faces, were Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens.

The next few minutes were a blur as Alexander cried, "WAIT!" And she couldn't help but stop. From Eliza's frozen fingers against hers, she could tell she had paused too.   
Then he ran forward and pulled the knives from their hands before they could react. Both yelped in anger and turned on him, attempting to take the weapons back.  
He cried, "John! HELP!", and John rushed over and pushed them back. He blocked them as they tried to reach for Alexander as he ran into the kitchen and threw the knives in the sink, covering them with a cutting board. He then darted back, and he and John pulled Angelica and Eliza back towards their couch, blocking the kitchen.   
"What were you DOING?" Alex cried. He looked incredibly upset, on the verge of tears. John placed a hand on his shoulder. "Alex," he consoled. "No. What were you THINKING? Were you just going to-t-to-to com-commit SUICIDE?" John placed an arm around his shoulder, guiding Alexander into a chair, but this didn't stop him.   
"I lost Peggy already, I can't lose you too!" He shouted, tears spilling over. "You can't just-" but at that, he gave into John's embrace, shoulders shaking with sobs. John desperately attempted to calm him, pressing a kiss to his neck and whispering calm assurances as he did so. And after a minute or two, Alexander's breathing steadied and he raised eyes rimmed with red to see Angelica and Eliza clutching each other like their lives depended on it, tears pouring silently down their own faces. Angelica heard him swallow, and she looked up to see him apologetically clear his throat. 

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I didn't mean to-to lose control like that. I-I just-what were you thinking? Why would you do that?"  
Angelica felt the tears flowing faster, obscuring her vision. "I-I'm sorry-I mean, we were-we just-I can't-" And soon she, too, was sobbing again into Eliza's shoulder as her emotions overwhelmed her, stabbing into her like dull knives.* Alexander began to reassure her, but she heard his voice suddenly stop. Gasping for breath, she raised her eyes up once more to see John holding her and Eliza's suicide note, his and Alexanders' eyes growing sadder every second.

Dear friends,  
We do not know how to say to you or to express into words the implications of what we are about to do.   
We know that you will miss us, but please understand that we are doing this for our own good. We believed that you will be able to depend on each other without us, otherwise we would not have carried out our actions in the way that we did. However, Eliza and I simply cannot carry on. The emotions that overwhelm us are slowly crushing our will to keep living, and we have found it futile to continue our lives the way they are. This note is to prove to you that this suicide was intentional, and we do not wish for you to hold anyone else as guilty for our deaths. We can't fully explain, but we wish you not to mourn us, and to know that we are more peaceful with our deaths. Please know that we care for you all and will miss you all very much, and you all mean the world to us. We shall wait for you on the other side, but be sure to take your time.   
Love,

Angelica

Eliza

 

Alexander sucked in a breath and looked up at her with horror and sadness in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Angie. I had no idea that you felt that horribly. I mean, I feel terrible as well, but-" Angelica cut him off. "Alex, no. I'm sorry, for causing you worry and for trying to do this-I had no idea what we were thinking. Thank you for stopping us-we almost made a terrible mistake." Eliza raised her trembling face and nodded, but tears still continued to pour down her face. Angelica sighed and quickly wrapped her arms around her sister, pulling her to her side. "We shouldn't have...done that, and anyway...we need to..to leave..." Confused for a moment, Alex frowned before realization hit. "Oh. Oh yeah, we should probably leave soon. The others will be there." Angelica nodded, comforting Eliza and wiping her tears away. "Give us five minutes, and we'll be downstairs." But John frowned this time. "Um, no, I don't think so. We'll wait here for you." Sighing, Angelica assented, "Fine, but we may take a little while." Nodding, John and Alex sat there and waited patiently while Angelica attempted to calm Eliza. But as she did so, she was thinking again, this time about what was ahead.   
Now we have to go to your grave, she thought. And even though your body isn't really there, we all meet there anyway, so that no matter what happens, we won't ever forget you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Metaphor or pun or whatever not intended-sorry about that lol


	5. Disbelieving (Angelica)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to mourn at Peggy's grave, when something short of an unexpected miracle occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I told you before that there might be two same characters' POV in a row, and so, yeah, here's another Angelica chapter. I probably ruined it, as I seem to do with most things I try to write. X')  
> Also, sorry I haven't posted anything in, like, a week...I've been really busy and really tired because I've been staying up late doing homework and I have school and yeah.....  
> But anyway, here's this chapter...hope you don't hate me at the end... >:)
> 
> (Also, the title is terrible. Again. Sorry DX I really can't name anything.)

Angelica could still feel her shoulders shaking.  
She wasn't sure whether or not to be angry or thankful towards Alex and John. On one hand, they had saved her and her sister's lives, and prevented them from adding another rift in the rest of their friends' lives.  
On the other hand, she and Eliza now still had all those heavy burdens on their backs. They had thought that it was almost over, that they were about to be free. But of course, John and Alex had to walk in on them and prevent them from freeing themselves from the enormous amount of emotions that weighed them down every day.  
She felt her fists clench, and anger started to take over.  
They shouldn't have intervened. They shouldn't have been there. That wasn't supposed to happen.  
"Angelica?"  
Almost gasping, Angelica raised her eyes to see Hercules giving her a concerned look. "Are you alright?"  
It was then that she realized she had been crying.  
Swallowing, she wiped off her cheeks with her sleeve. "I'm okay...thank you." She managed a small smile and a quick nod before turning away to face the window.

What is wrong with me? She wondered. Alexander and John had saved her life-and her sister's life-and she was angry at them?  
Looking over at Eliza, who sat in the middle seat of Thomas' car, she sighed inwardly. She couldn't believe she was about to let Eliza throw her life away. She couldn't believe that they were about to abandon their friends, who needed Eliza and her just as much as she and Eliza needed them. She looked around at the whole car. Thomas and James were in the front, Thomas driving, James staring out the front window, both whispering to each other. In the back row, she and Hercules were seated on the edge seats, Eliza in between them. Hercules had an arm wrapped around Eliza, and Eliza's head was buried in his shoulder as he stroked her hair. Angelica couldn't tell if Eliza was crying or not, but she certainly had been only a few minutes ago when Alex and John had led them out of their dorm building to see a panicked Hercules, Thomas, Burr, Theodosia, James, and Lafayette. (Well, Lafayette had actually been inside of John's car at the time, on his phone, looking at all of the photos he and Peggy had taken together and trying not to cry again, but Burr told them he was worried.)  
Once they saw the smaller group was pale faced and Eliza and Angelica looked about ready to collapse, their friends immediately went to help them-but barely a second later were trying to keep from screaming, because John had just shared the story about how a few minutes ago Angelica and Eliza had been seconds away from a double-suicide. At this, Theodosia had gasped and run over to Angelica, Burr had gone over to ask John and Alex about something, and Hercules had turned to Eliza to ask her what was going on, which resulted in her crying on the ground from stress and him trying to comfort her. 

Angelica turned back towards the car window, taking another deep breath.  
Just breathe, a voice inside her head said. Just breathe and it's going to be okay.  
But it wouldn't be.  
Her thoughts went on in this fashion until, five minutes later, Thomas pulled up at the parking lot of where Peggy's grave was placed. Angelica took a deep, shuddering breath, and took her sister's hand-who immediately began to tear up. Trying very hard not to sob herself, she squeezed her hand and let Hercules stand at Eliza's other side, while Thomas and James exited the car and walked up behind them.  
"Should we wait for John and the others?" Thomas asked. Angelica turned. Giving him a pointed look she hoped looked urgent and not miserable, she nodded towards Eliza, who was now trying desperately to hide her tears.  
"Alright, let's go now, then," He agreed, giving her an acknowledging look as she turned around. "I'll text them to catch up later." His voice, however, caught on the world 'later', and James had to take his hand as he swallowed back tears. Angelica took one more look at the people with her, feeling-for once-lucky. Lucky to have such an incredible group of friends who cared for her as much as she cared for them, who took care of her, who cried with her, who stood by her, who helped her with all of her struggles, no matter what happened. Then she looked back at the path that would lead them out of the parking lot and towards Peggy's grave, she began thinking about how Peggy wasn't here, and would never be, would never come back-  
She let out a sob.  
So much for being strong. She swallowed her tears as her friends led her away, towards the path. And as they walked down the incredibly familiar dirt-packed road, Angelica managed to keep her tears back as she thought of how she needed desperately to keep the tears in until they reached Peggy's grave.  
Then she could cry.  
Then she could mourn properly.  
But as they walked farther down the path, Angelica moved to the front of the group and saw that the light morning mist became slightly thicker, rising up as it began to dissipate slowly in the sunlight that peeked out behind the clouds, making it slightly harder for Angelica to see further in front of herself. Frowning, Angelica comforted herself with the thought that at least she probably wouldn't run into anyone, since not many people knew where Peggy's grave was. But even as she thought this, she heard a strange sound in the distance, facing in front of her. It sounded like...an echo. An echo of when your feet hit the ground, the sound echoes back at you. But this couldn't be an echo-it was faster paced than her footsteps, and growing louder every second. Angelica began slowly move forward into the mist, cautiously stepping forward. But the echo kept growing louder and louder, until it sounded so close that she was about to call back to the others, when-  
WHAM.  
A dark shape hurtled out of the mist and crashed into her head-on, sending her and the stranger sprawled to the ground. Angelica gasped for breath, the wind knocked out of her, her dark curly hair in her face and mouth. Groaning, she raised a hand to her throbbing temples, hearing her friends shouting in alarm in the distance. But as she did, she looked up at the stranger for the first time. They, too, were having trouble breathing. They were wearing all dark clothes, clearly not wanting to be noticed. Angelica couldn't see their face, but as they struggled up, she saw a bit of their hair escape their hood. They attempted to push it back in, but the hair clearly would not budge. They struggled for a second as Angelica tried to breathe, and finally, they accidentally pushed the hood away from their face, revealing-  
No.  
No.  
No no no no no.  
Not possible.  
Unacceptable.  
It had to be a nightmare. A dream. A hallucination.  
Because the face staring back at Angelica was a face that had haunted her dreams for months, had nearly driven her insane, hand made her weep and scream and sob.  
She gasped even harder, her shock clearly mirrored on the stranger's face. But they weren't a stranger anymore, because Angelica knew their name, knew it better than almost her own. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, trying to ask a million questions at once, to scream, to cry, but all that came out was one word, a squeak-  
"Peggy?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA  
> did you think you would get answers?  
> well...  
> NOPE!  
> you got a cliffhanger instead. :P  
> but please dont kill me if you happen to actually like reading this fanfiction trash.


	6. Returning (Peggy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um..FINALLY A PEGGY CHAPTER NOW YOU KIND OF GET SOME PLOT GUYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody has actually taken the time to read this shit, then I'll just warn you that the POV is all over again...sorry DX  
> And also, I'm pretty sure I ruined my attempts at fluff in this chapter like all the other fluff I fail to write. So, sorry again for ruining what is actually an adorable and amazing ship in this sad fanfiction trash.   
> But if for some reason you enjoy reading this junk, then please, read on. :)

Peggy couldn't remember the last time she'd ever felt so lost.  
So scared.  
So sad, confused, hurt, and emotionally and physically drained.  
And the nightmares still haunted her. She would never, not in a million years, forget how much pain she'd been in, in multiple ways. That one day, everything had begun as normal. But as soon as she had left her dorm building with her sisters, she had been changed forever.   
The men in black had grabbed her, clubbed her unconscious, and shoved her in the back of their van. She had been taken away, to a tiny underground cell somewhere in a tiny city in Maryland. She didn't remember much-after that day, she barely remembered anything. Every day blurred together. They didn't put her on drugs, under the assumption that she wouldn't try to physically damage herself. Honestly, though, it had seemed like she'd been on drugs. Her own shock and confusion had kept her near unconscious for several days. Or maybe it was several hours. Or weeks. It could have even been months, for all she knew. There had been no light in her underground prison, and she hadn't come out until they were sure she'd recovered from her shock. And even then, they barely let her outside. They kept her under heavy guard, and only let her out for fifteen minutes a day, in the back lot of their small, dreary building. They only let her out at ten A.M., so that most people would be at work could she even get the chance to scream. But her time outside became incredibly valuable to her. Aside from being her only break from her four-by-four underground prison cell, these breaks were her only way to gauge the time of year based on the weather. 

However, just because they let her outside didn't mean they necessarily treated her well. She wasn't entirely sure what they wanted her for-maybe for ransom? After all, her father was well known for his large bank account (a fact she had never been proud of). But these men seemed not to care for money, because what they seemed to want was information instead. They would interrogate her several times a week for months until they gave up for a while and then interrogated her again. They never let her see their faces, or hear their voices directly (they communicated through a screen, where they had voice altering machines installed), and she could never tell anything about them other than the fact that they were all adults. Even though the team of thugs who had abducted her were all male, she had met many female members of this group as well. She also noted that, if she wasn't mixing different people with different people, they had at least twenty four members of their group and counting, as new ones showed up more and more frequently.   
And even though they never hurt her during their interrogations, and even though they wouldn't often hurt her physically, they had beaten her occasionally (especially when she talked back to them or refused to answer their questions), and sometimes near starved her to death. They would take away her food and water for up to days at a time, and even when she did get her food and water back, it was always lacking in nutrition, and they gave her starch like bread and water, maybe milk. Occasionally she would get some dried fruit if they were generous. She would always survive it, though, and would be back on her feet in a day or so. The one thing she did seem to have in abundance , however, was sleep. She got up to eleven hours of sleep on good nights (more than she got in college), and about eight or nine on a bad night (still more than in college). But even with paying incredibly close attention to her captors, she could never escape. It was impossible. Except, she discovered, one day during a thunderstorm, almost a year since she'd been taken.

She hadn't escaped because of skill or prowess, but luck instead. She simply happened to be in the right place at the right time (for once in her life). She didn't remember much about that day either, mainly because it had all been a blur of adrenaline and nerves. The few details she did recall were that there had been a thunderstorm, and during the thunderstorm, one of the members of their group had been involved in a street shooting which drew in the police. All of her captors had been on alert, ready to run if they couldn't identify his body before the police discovered it. Peggy couldn't be sure if they would kill her or abandon her or bring her with them, and when all of her captors had gone upstairs to discuss a plan of evacuation, one of her captors had dropped a key behind. Hardly believing her luck, Peggy had grasped the key in both hands, and praying to heaven on high, silently and slowly unlocked her door. Realizing her opportunity, she managed to sneak out of the building by crawling through the air ducts, dropping outside after barely five minutes. She then managed to hide herself in a crowd on their way to some museum and stole some of their money from their purses (she reassured herself that she needed it more than they did). She bought a taxi to take her as close to New York as she could, but had to stay under a freeway overpass for a night because she couldn't quite make it there in time. During the night, she had managed to scrounge up twenty more bucks, and finally, in the morning, made her way to a city bus stop and took a bus even closer to New York. She then had to walk for thirty miles, pretending to be going somewhere important as to not be disturbed. She finally made it to a tiny town where she could get a motel room for fifteen dollars (which she nicked from another bus passenger), so she stayed for a night there and then took one more bus to get into New York City. (All along the way she had stopped at gas stations and convenience stores to pick up food and water whenever she could.) Eventually, she made it close to her college-within ten miles. 

But she had gotten lost along the way, and as she was trying to find her way around, she thought she saw the same van her captors had abducted her in. Spurring a near panic attack, she had desperately run for god knows how long, and soon gotten lost in a park along the way. She kept running, hoping they wouldn't be following her. As she ran, the morning mist began to thicken, making it hard to see. However she paid no attention to this, just kept running. She grew more and more desperate the longer she ran, picking up speed. And at one point, she thought she heard footsteps near her-behind or in front she didn't know. So she began sprinting as fast as her legs would take her, running purely on fear and adrenaline, going faster, faster, faster, until-  
WHAM.  
She ran head-on into a figure coming straight out of the mist in front of her. Her body wobbled and tipped over from the shock and strength of the impact, and even her teeth rattled in her head. The wind had been knocked out of her, and as she tried to gasp for breath, she also attempted to push herself up.   
You need to keep going, she told herself. You need to keep running.   
But even as she thought this, even as she was pushing up, she didn't even think to look at whoever she had run into as she noticed that some of her hair had come out of her hoodie. Her whole body shaking from the impact, she began trying to shove it back into her hood, pulse and hands quickening when she heard shouting in the distance. Maybe her captors, maybe random pedestrians, maybe friends of the person she had body-slammed? No matter who, though, she had to get the hell out of there before her abductors figured out where she had escaped to. Gasping, she kept trying to shove her hair back in. Frustration made her hand slip, however, and she accidentally pushed her hood back and-  
Oh.   
My.   
God.   
Impossible. It had to be some sort of dream or a hallucination or a sick mind trick. Or just somebody that looked like the person in front of her, because the person right there, right in front of her, it couldn't be. It couldn't be. But what if, her mind snapped, What if it is her? What if she's there? Just ask her, just say her name, say SOMETHING-  
but before she could get the words out, the person in front of her spoke. Eyes gone wide, face pale, trembling, they asked-  
"Peggy?"

~Five Minutes Later~

The last five minutes had been a blur. Peggy didn't remember much, and she didn't think she ever would. But the few details she did remember-she had answered Angelica with a trembling "Angie?" and then she and her sister had both burst into tears and collapsed onto each other, holding each other tight like nothing else in the world was there, like nothing mattered-and then Thomas and James and Hercules and Eliza had come sprinting down the path, yelling Angelica's name, shouting out for her, but then they came across Peggy and Angelica and stopped short, dead silent, no noise at all save for Peggy and Angelica crying their eyes out. Then Eliza had gasped, "Pegs?" And fallen right into their tiny circle of tears and disbelief, all of them sobbing, Peggy's heart breaking and soaring all at once, gasping for breath, and then just when she thought she could breathe, Hercules and James and Thomas had started hugging them too, so that they made a pile on the dirt road, all of them crying so hard they couldn't breathe and some of them laughing a bit and holding onto each other like a huge pile of emotional wrecks, until after what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes, they had all managed to come to some sort of sense, and then, with tears in their eyes, had turned right to Peggy and started screaming and crying and begging questions and answers and details and what was going on and where had she been and what had happened and Peggy couldn't stop crying and they were all sobbing and nobody was being rational anymore, until Thomas checked his phone and called Alexander and John and Laf, and from what Peggy had been told afterwards, told them to get the hell over here and that it was urgent.

Even as Peggy tried to calm herself, they kept trying to ask questions, all of them still crying, until they heard pounding footsteps approaching, and a white faced John and Alexander had staggered up the path, gasping for breath and desperate to the edge of tears, until they saw Peggy and froze.   
Their reaction was similar to their friends', which consisted of immediately starting to cry and hugging Peggy to death until she started crying again, crying until her stomach hurt, and once they had just begun to start screaming questions at her too, she heard another set of footsteps thud into the scene, heard ragged breath, somebody asking desperately what was going on, and she had wiped her eyes and taken a breath and looked up and seen-  
"Lafayette," she whispered.  
He froze, his gaze traveling down from the rest of his friends' faces, down to the ground, until his eyes locked onto her face and he turned ten shades paler and he looked like a ghost.  
He couldn't seem to form words as his eyes grew wide and he looked about to collapse, until Peggy reached her arms towards him and he fell towards her and suddenly they were tangled together in a mess of tears and tangled limbs and disbelief and happiness. Shaking, Peggy pulled him as close to her as she possibly could, nestling her face into his shoulder and sobbing. She felt his tears on her shoulder, and then she raised her face slightly and locked eyes with him and then their lips connected and she was kissing him.  
Kissing him so hard she felt she could never stop. She was lost in him, and he was lost in her, until finally they had to breathe. And as soon as she moved her lips away, he let out a sob and pulled her to him again and couldn't stop crying.   
His hands were in her hair, pulling her to him. Her hands were around his neck, desperately hanging on, vowing never to let go, never to disappear again. The whole world seemed to fall away around them, and there was only Lafayette and her, crying and hugging and trying to breathe.   
It seemed like ages. It could have been hours or it could have been seconds that she was nestled into his tall, thin form, curled up against him, until he pulled himself away, and looked at her face.  
"Peggy...how...why...what..."   
"It doesn't matter right now," she whispered. "I'm back, that's what matters. I'm back, and I'm not leaving again, I swear to god I won't ever leave-" and here her voice broke. Lafayette took in a shaky breath. "That's....it's okay, I know. I'm here for you, just breathe, we'll get you home, Peggy, just breathe." But even his voice was cracking now as he tried desperately not to cry. He pulled her to him, incredibly relieved and joyful and confused and shocked all at the same time. But they could get through this, they just had to get home. Back to campus, and then they could talk. She nodded quietly, and at this, their friends penetrated their tiny bubble of themselves and helped them to stand, everyone crying and gasping for air and some desperately laughing at the same time as they all led each other down the path towards their cars, Peggy nestled into Lafayette's side as he curled around her, promising himself and promising her he would never let her go, never let them take her again.  
Never again.  
Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, once again, for the cringy fluff and the failed chapter name and whatever else you suffer through if you read this. Also sorry I was gone for like a week or so...(I kinda lost track of the days) I had school.... :'U But yeah, HOPE YOU MADE IT THIS FAR!!!!!!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehe....if you made it this far, thank you! I can't really think of anything to say here, sooo....just thought I'd mention that this fic is written with a different character's perspective in each chapter, so don't get too comfy with one narrative. Also, please comment-it would make me very happy to know that people read my junk. :)  
> Thank you!


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